Forget “Them”
“…and they dropped that dog off at the front desk and asked if they could see the puppies. They had no heart, they did not care…”
And so went my dinner conversation the other night. I was out with friends who had invited along a couple who ran a very successful rescue organization. They came with the perspective that those who relinquish their pets to the shelter don’t care and are inherently different from them – and are in many cases, outright inhumane.
It felt like an affront, as my perspective is just so different from theirs. I thought back to the groundbreaking research of DiGiacomo, Arluke and Patronek (1998) on the relinquisher’s perspective of surrendering pets to shelters. The perspective of the relinquisher was not as my new friend had described – instead, each of the relinquishers interviewed for the study had gone through an extensive process that began long before the animals were turned over to the shelter. What shelter professionals were seeing as uncaring and apathy was a person who, through a variety of avenues, had built a wall so they were able to leave the animal at the shelter. It pulls at my heart even as I write it now.
After a glass of wine, I shared my perspective based on the research, and my new friend said, “You know, I never thought about what that person might have done before they got to the shelter…that sure can change perspective.” Agreed.
We just finished collecting data on 100 relinquishers of large dogs entering the open-admission Washington Humane Society in Washington, D.C., and are working on gathering the same data in New York City. While we are just starting our data analysis, we too are finding that those coming to relinquish did not come by the decision lightly. The focus of this research is to identify potential programs and processes that would have supported those folks before they had made the decision to relinquish – so they keep their pets.
What if we dropped the assumptions and the division of “us” and “them” and instead focused on figuring out how we can make it better for that person coming through our doors?
It can be really tough for many of us to understand how someone cannot just ‘figure it out.’ How is it that when we are confronted with a situation we usually can noodle through a solution that lands us right back on our feet, and others stumble and fall? Some people are bound by pressures and boundaries that we cannot see – from physical, social and mental limitations to financial and cultural restrictions.
I recently had the opportunity to see a clear avenue to safety where the person I was interacting with did not – the avenue was a simple payment of x dollars that would free this person from a series of consequences that would occur if the money was not paid. It was such a moment of clarity for me – for I not only saw the path to safety, but I had the means to provide it. The person had recognized that avenue, but since the finances were the restriction, they had shut that door and put their head down to face ‘the inevitable.’
Imagine all it takes to decrease the number of dogs and cats being relinquished is to be there for those humans with dogs and cats – to be their eyes, their road to safety, and… if they need it, their hand to help. It puts a new spin on what it is to be humane. But if all we do is make assumptions about their level of caring and empathy, we shut the door to them, and open the door to yet another dog or cat in our shelter. I don’t see a win in that.
Related links:
“I Was Them”
Safety Net Programs: Non-Judgmental Relinquishment Conversations
“Surrendering Pets to Shelters: The Relinquisher’s Perspective”
Tags: Intake, Research, Research & Data, Saving Lives, Shelter Health
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Port Colborne Feline Initiative Says:
Excellent piece! We must always attempt to put ourselves in the other position and work together to find resolution. Without that there is no win for anyone and certainly not the companion animal whose very life hangs in the balance.
Jim Tedford Says:
Once again, you knocked it out of the park! Having spent most of my adult life working in a shelter environment, but the past 8 1/2 on the outside looking in, my perspective is vastly different. One of the most difficult things to remember is that most people are fundamentally good and that turning animals over to the people and places best equipped to deal with it is generally not a bad thing. I recommend keeping the same basic perspective on your “customers” whether they are relinquishing a pet or making a donation.
timy sullivan Says:
Thank you for this. Years ago, I had a situation with two very nice dogs who suddenly, after two years together, couldn’t be in the same room. I felt the only solution was to re-home one of them. After making several attempts on my own, I went to my local shelter, broken-hearted, and asked if they would take one of the dogs. Instead of help, I received a stern lecture on responsibility. I took the dog back home. Two weeks later, my attempts to keep the two dogs apart broke down when a visitor opened a door. The smaller dog died in the ensuing fight. It was one of the worst experiences of my life…and one of the things that drove me into animal welfare. If we really care about the animals, we have to listen to the people responsible for their care. The longer I do this work, the more I realize most people do want to do the right thing – we just have to show them the way and give them the help they need.
Nina Says:
Was thinking of buying that article for our shelter staff to read, but my first question was if anyone knows if the community in which the study was conducted was one where pet overpopulation is a major issue or if it is in a place with a bit more control (ie New Mexico vs. Massachusetts). And wondering if there is a difference in the perspectives of surrenderers by community (ie if there are dozens of dogs roaming the streets vs shelters with high demand for certain pets)… Any thoughts out there?
And back to the first sentence of the article… we often get people who surrender an adult dog for non-behavioral issues (too big, moving, too many) and then want to adopt a puppy. How do others in open admission shelters address those folks? Just hoping to hear the scoop from others who might have read it without having to shell out the $22 for the whole thing or from others who have been able to get past this rut of finger pointing (which we are admittedly stuck in and trying to get out of!)…
Thanks!
Emily Weiss Says:
Jim – That perspective makes such a difference! Thank you for YOUR perspective!
Emily Weiss Says:
Nina – The DiGiacomo, Arluke and Patronek (1998) study mentioned in my blog was conducted in Boston – but 14 years ago when the state of intake and risk was a bit different than it is today. Our data set is from DC and we are finding similar human behaviors, and we are currently collecting data in NYC. I would hope we could start with the assumption that no matter where someone lives, no matter what the risks for the pet population, that someone coming to you is more than likely a good person with a bad situation.
Juliet Blake, RVT Says:
“Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken.” — Rousseau
I agree with the article. Most people have good intentions. You just never know what may have happened to someone in the months, weeks, days, or hours leading up to their animal’s relinquishment.
ROBIN CEMBER Says:
I have been a “shelter person” for almost 20 years and have done dog adoption for 15 years. I have seen a lot out there.
After adopting out a dog I have a system that sounds complex, but it keeps the relationship intact between the shelter and the adopter, while increasing the likelihood of catching any problems before they become overwhelming.
It is a type of mantra–”one day–one week—one month–and if possible one year” First, I check in with the adopter the next day. Usually there is something small, a question that was not addressed or the answer had been forgotten in the excitement. It also reminds the person that the counselor is only a call away. One week— by then the “honeymoon” is over and the dog has probably started getting comfortable and will start to test the boundaries of his new digs. Or again, small questions, and keeping communication open. One month– by now things have settled down, or there is a situation that has arisen that needs outside help to correct. One year– if possible, to see if the dog is still there, and to ask for a cute photo of the family for the internal shelter bulletin. It is less work than it sounds like, and certainly less work that finding out that the dog has been given to someone’s parents because they could not handle a problem ( and that would actually be a better outcome than some of the ones that I have seen happen.
When the dog is adopted all the info is put on an index card. The cards are filed in a box. The box has partitions for the appropriate times. After the call has been made(and written upon as to how things are going), the card is put into the next section where it sits until it is time for the next check up. It keeps the communication lines open so there is lessof a chance that the adopter either ignores a problem or consults the internet to find out how to correct a problem. I call that spinning the wheel of mis-fortune. Not the best first choice.
Robin Cember CPDT-KA
Fran Says:
Robin Cember, sometimes adopters get bad advice from the organizations who adopt out the dogs. I adopted a dog who turned out to have some behavioral issues. I contacted the rescue I had gotten him from and they told me to shake a penny can at him or use a squirt gun on him. And this happened last year, not 20 years ago when just about everyone was using those cruel and confrontational training methods. I was horrified and didn’t ask them for any more training tips.
But none of the gentler methods that I had successfully used with other dogs seemed to be working on him. His issues went way beyond what a big box pet store obedience class could address, and I couldn’t afford to hire a really good trainer. I ended up returning him to the rescue, because the contract I signed with them said if I couldn’t keep him for any reason, that was what I should do. They acted like I was a horrible person for returning him. They would have preferred that I keep him and scare him into submission.
Patti Vollmer Says:
I like the one day,one week,one month,one year idea. I’m not sure the the humane society where I volunteer does this, so I’m going to pass it on.
ROBIN CEMBER Says:
To Fran (and anyone else who has had less than a good shelter experience),
I do not claim that any rescue, or any one individual in a rescue is a fountain of good info. Just like you can find any type of trainer/training method out there, you will find shelters/rescues run by perhaps well meaning people who do not or can not know that life is a path do be walked in order to keep out of the ruts.
I have been associated with several rescues and am currently concentrating on rehabbing the dogs who are not adoptable due to their inability to cope with the current human environment that they find themselves in now. A long
process at times, but the dogs become more adoptable and get out of the shelter the right way.
Shelter work (like working in an E.R.), can cause burnout if the workers do not step back from the often emotional barrage of dealing with the public at their worst. Yes, I have met some dreadful people who have not given “their best shot” or have quickly given up their new “friend” for various seemingly petty circumstances. I have my share of war stories, like everyone else. I do have the ability to step back most times (sometimes it takes time before the shock wears off), and try to understand the complexities of what may have happened. I also have seen enough that I can usually come to the conclusion that it is better for the animal to be returned than to suffer along with the human in whatever circumstance is going on in the home. Not every adoption is the perfect match. But this is me.
Like I have said, many shelter workers watch their “babies” go out to a home and are depressed to see them come back again because of something which they are are certain that they would have handled and overcome. It is an emotional issue– passions run high in shelter people. That is one of the reasons that they volunteer and care for their charges. People often become comfortable in what and how they do something. They believe that they already know everything that there is to know about a subject, besides, they get the job done. So there is no necessity, and are even insulted to think that there may be a different way to do something. Their ears close, the mind shuts down– it is a human achilles heel.
As for correct information, I always recommend DogStar Daily’s website. It is a website that contains very knowledgeable people, information and ideas. People who care for and about the animals, plus network to keep exchanging ideas and learning from each other.
Fran, you had a lousy, frustrating experience. You adopted someone to share and enjoy your life with. It did not happen. You did the right thing to return the dog, even if the personnel were less than understanding about the reasons. The only positive thing is to learn from the experience. I do not know where you adopted from– it really does not matter at this point. But I can give you a few suggestions, should you want to adopt again in the future. One is to go to Dog Star Daily.com/freedownloads.
There are 2 books by Ian Dunbar that can be downloaded for free. One is about before getting a puppy and the other is about after getting a puppy. While you might not be in the market for a puppy(heaven knows that is not my idea of fun), it does give you an idea about dogs and how they learn,etc. At the website you will find help in matching up who you are, with how to find a dog that suits you. Not every breed works with every type of person.
Find a shelter that does temperament testing. Dr.Emily Weiss took temperament testing one step further and set up another series of tests which try to get a glimpse of how the dog may act in the home environment. The “tests” put a dog into a series of situations to see how he reacts. Each situation mimics what may happen in real life. While there are no crystal balls, or guarantees, it does give more information than can be gotten by watching the dog try to cope with the stressful life inside a shelter.
Adopting out a life to be cared for by another life is a huge and weighty responsibility. And no one does it perfectly every time. I believe that it is important to rescue and shelter as best we can, when we can. But it is equally important to learn as much as possible about the dog and the potential adopter. It does take more time and resources. The goal is to make the best match possible for both parties. It does take more time, but hopefully we will then have better adoption rates and fewer sad and disheartening situations when a dog is returned to the shelter.
Robin Cember CPDT-KA